A few days ago I was having a chat with two of my childhood friends whom I’ve known for over thirty years. We went to school together and after graduating, we took on separate career paths. Despite being apart, we always kept and held firm to our friendship and still do to this day. During the chat, one of my friends who has never seen me speak in public or negotiating with a client, commented: “I find hard to believe that you are a great public speaker, because ever since I’ve known you, you are an incredibly introvert and soft-spoken, low-profile guy!”, and he is absolutely true: I am an introvert. However, sometimes a specific quality in a person, does not necessarily relate to the other.
People normally confuse “introvert” with adjectives like “shy”, “quiet”, “insecure”, as well as stereotypical qualifications like “not fit to be a leader”, “cannot command”, and “follower”, and this is when confusion allows for misjudgment. Me being an introvert means that I like to think more rather than talk. I like to read, look, analyze and observe, rather than engage in small talk. My habits also back my personality: I play the piano, as well as guitar and bass, and I play tennis and chess. All of those are individual activities that require deep thought, rather than engagement with people. When I go to a party, I’m normally the quiet guy sitting on a corner looking how everyone is having fun. Now, that does not mean that I dislike engaging with people; in fact I love it. I absolutely do. The thing is, I love to do it with a meaning behind the engagement, and that is when the great public speaker comes in.
Throughout my life I have been told several times that once I step on a stage, I go through this sort of metamorphosis that releases this completely different person who comes out of his shell. I become a firm, engaging speaker, who talks with passion about the topic on hand, and who is incredibly hilarious, as well as fascinating to watch. The reason why this happens is because I focus on the message being clearly sent rather than the words. There are a lot of public speakers out there who speak nicely and sound unbelievably fluid and fascinating, yet their message is empty, or even worse: fake. They use stories to engage with people and stories are more engaging than facts. I on the other hand, use facts. The key difference is that I talk about facts using words that someone else would use for stories. So the question is: Do you prefer a speaker who clouds your vision and paints you fake pictures talking with nice words? Unfortunately, a lot of people do, and this is why sometimes a lot of my counterpart extroverts are able to get away with scamming so many people.
I do not have anything against extroverts and I am aware there have been several successful extrovert leaders and public speakers, as well as there have been several introvert scammers. The bottom line is not to judge an introvert only because he’s quiet; instead, give us the chance to prove you are wrong in your assumptions.
And of course, pay attention to the facts in the message. Never pay attention to the beautifully well spoken words surrounding the message.
HR