Hector A. Ruiz

Written by Torrie Q. Jones (Instagram, X), “Sun“ is the first book of the Reborn sci-fi / fantasy series I was asked to review. It tells the story of Adam and Taki, two characters who experience a rebirth that allow them to become part of a conflict between the world of Demons and Angels. This review is spoiler free.

In order to establish my reviewing parameters, a 5-star book in this genre would be something comparable to Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter. A 4-star work would be a book, that is not as good as the aforementioned works, such as the recent popular best-seller “Fourth wing“. “Sun” is on neither category. So, where does it fall? In order to find that out, I will go over its positive aspects, the elements that contain room for improvement, and finally, its negative aspects. Let’s start with the positives.

The story is good. It is a relatable tale of exactly what the author promises to deliver. Set in the present time in New York City, it provides a sense of reality the reader will appreciate in an otherwise plethora of works that are supposedly set in medieval / middle Earth times, yet feature characters with modern personalities and dialogues.

The characters in “Sun” are well constructed and somewhat relatable (more on this in the upcoming lines). They feel real and are given plenty of humanity, although sometimes maybe too much.

The reading did not feel boring, and I would go as far as to say that it was engaging. All these elements drive the book to succeed in meeting the minimum standards of a coherent story the reader will be able to follow and -hopefully- enjoy. Now for the areas of improvement.

The is very little embellishment of the narrative, which is more presented in a report form, and while the characters are properly given a spectrum of emotions in their thoughts and actions, the narrative -which is essential for the reader to dive into the story-, lacks humanity. Almost everything is stated as if it was a report, rather than developed in a compelling way. There are plenty of literary devices and resources to develop a narrative, to describe a character, establish a location, build a setting, and outline events, yet the author rarely uses any. For instance, I could describe Taki using something along the lines of:

“Even though short in stature, she always emerged portraying a determined, disciplined, and consummate professional, a character she built during her years studying in Japan, after being made fun of during her first weeks in her school in Okinawa for being small and a little chubby.

Very quickly Taki resolved to not allow herself be looked down by even the shortest person around her. She enrolled in jujutsu, an endeavor that paid off by having her embrace the physical and philosophical teachings of the ancient art, and while not the best student in her class, her performance would consistently be placed in the upper half. This gave her the much needed confidence she strived, living so far away from her home. In a short period of time, Taki grew into the person the world would begin to see in a different way. Straight shoulders that pushed her breasts forwards, presenting herself in an imposing and respectful, yet not vulgar way, as to announce to the world “I am here”, was the pose she adopted. Her resounding footsteps could be heard fifty feet away from where she was, and because of her short legs, she would move in quick steps at a pace of two steps for every second, taken with the precision of a metronome. With her full body in motion, deceivingly curvy at a distance due to her inclination to dress in baggy clothes, but well-muscled in reality, Taki was one to make sure her presence was known everywhere she went, to the ears with her walk and to the eyes with her caramel bronze-like bright skin, which was the final icing that completed the reasons why she would shine and stand out within any room she walked in.”

By using a text like the above, there is information being conveyed to the reader, both from her physical appearance and her personality, as well as a little bit of her life. Additionally, the door is open for a deeper understanding of the character. When reading a book, readers desire to quench their intellectual thirst, so it is better to let them gradually learn more about the story, the ambient, the history, and especially the characters. In comparison, in “Sun”, Taki is described as if we are reading a dossier:

“She stood at five feet nine inches, two hundred and twenty pounds”; “jet black thick coarse hair that reached the middle of her back, (…)”; “Her martial arts training undeniable helped put some more definition into those curves.”

Unless it is relevant to the story, as in there is a height limitation somewhere down the road, or a MacGuffin mechanism that is triggered by a mass greater than that 220 lb., the reader does not need to know the exact height and weight of a character… or exact breast size. This briefing approach occurs with almost all the characters.

Metaphors are seldom in the narrative, there is little foreshadowing, no alliteration, minimal imagery, and no euphemisms. The point of views switch so quickly, there is very little time to settle on a character’s persona. Another reviewer mentioned its “mental-movie“-like feeling “given by the details“, which is similar to my sentiment. The reason is because “Sun” feels more like a movie script, than a book. This is not something particularly bad, but it is definitely an aspect that needs to be improved if the author wants their book to read and feel like a book, and not a typical three act movie script setup, confrontation and resolution. My favorite chapter was Breakfast, which was well written, and filled with exposition that gave the characters the chance to evoke feelings within their setting, but more importantly, all mounted over a framework that contained an artistic narrative. However, Breakfast was the exception to the norm. I must reiterate that there is nothing wrong with the narrative missing literary devices. However having them would have elevated it.

On to the characters, there were times in which the two main characters felt they were the same person. Their introduction, development and arcs were similar. On a few occasions I was wondering if it would have been beneficial to merge them as a single character with a better overall construct. Also, while the protagonists are well presented and their importance is clearly understood, the story lacked an antagonist of at least close to equal degree of magnitude as Adam and Taki. The “bad guys” never felt intimidating, menacing or even capable of threatening the protagonists. Overall, every character -good or evil- is generic, which is not necessarily bad either, but leads to the following: unless you have not read any books, or watched any sci-fi / fantasy movies or series, “Sun” will rarely surprise you. Due to the fact based narrative, the story is predictable and became monotonous at times. An example of this is that Adam remained as a fish out of water for way too long, even through the third act.

From the very beginning it is clear that “Sun” will not allude a Sydney Carlson-like sacrifice, a Roy Batty-eque ending monologue, a Tyrion Lannister self-finding journey, or manifest a Captain Nemo conflicting personality. However, a glimpse of any of those moments would have heighten the characters and enhanced the book as a whole. The most intriguing characters were Chike and Lucia, who I feel the author was betting heavily on them being the big revelation, but even they resulted generic and predictable. Again, not that this is a bad thing. Is the characeter’s construct work for the story, and are they effective in creating an emotional connection with the reader? Yes. Are any of the memorable characters? No.

In the end, the final confrontation between good and evil felt flat because the stakes were not high, despite all the efforts the author put on the build-up to it. The good guys were just good for the sole reason that they were “special”, and since the bad guys did not have any motivation they were simply bad given their labeling as demons. An introduction of a motif or symbolism, an elaboration on the elements surrounding the world, the reasons why they were in jeopardy, and a deeper look into their motivations would have definitely favored the excitement of the story.

There was a moment in which “Sun” made me feel as if I was reading a novelization of Matrix and Independence Day. The former as an example of a product with a protagonist that is the least interesting and most generic of all the characters in the story, that ultimately succeeded financially and critically because every other character that converges towards Neo, is profound and well constructed -including the antagonist-. The latter because it is an example of a product that became financially successful employing generic one-dimensional characters and a predictable linear story. Now, on to the negatives.

The majority of the book’s flaws are due to bad editing. Not too deep into the reading, I had to go back and confirm I had read there was a credited editor. Let’s examine the issues:

1. The tone took too long to set. Just because the story progresses in a coherent linear manner does not mean the way it is told is adequate for the genre. Up until the end of the first third, “Sun” felt more like a romance novel rather than a sci-fi fantasy story. Close to the end of the first third, there are a couple of chapters (particularly one in which Xeno and Dillon are introduced) that would have effectively worked in establishing the book’s tone and developing the story, had they been moved to the beginning. This was a major miss on the editor.
2. The formatting is not good. Since the reading transmits that the author was more focused on stating facts rather than conveying a beautiful narrative, proper formatting could have aided in polishing the structure. Instead, the paragraphs felt like blocks in which a particular item was stated, discussed and closed, move on, as if the reader is being briefed. The abundance of several four pages chapters leads to too many chapters; the majority could have been condensed in order to facilitate the reading. The blank spaces at the end of random pages was also confusing.
3. The unexpected tonal shifts and vulgarity. As an author myself, I always go back to the question my editor poses to my manuscripts: is this element (word, sentence, paragraph) necessary to the story? Is it adding any value? If the answer to any of those questions is “No”, then get rid of it. Nothing in this book would have suffered if 95% of the cursing and vulgarity would have been removed. Everything has a place and time. “Fourth wing” made the same mistake, but to a lesser degree. In “Sun” it goes way overboard. It is hard to take the story seriously when two highly profiled characters are having a serious conversation about a matter that propels the plot, when all of a sudden they shift the tone to a completely uncalled for nuisance of dialogue filled of explicit language. I laughed several times due to the unlikelihood of the situation.

These are the negative aspects I recommend the author should fix on their next work. So the final question is, how do I rate “Sun“?

I am going to give this book three out of five stars. As it happened with “Independence Day“, it meets the minimum requirements of a coherent linear readable and enjoyable story, but nothing more. Does it have potential to become a best-seller? Yes. With the help of a better editor and even another writer to address the points I highlighted, I can see this series becoming a success for its audience. Will it be memorable on its own if it remains unchanged? That is up to the audience.

HR